The STUDIA UNIVERSITATIS BABEŞ-BOLYAI issue article summary

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The arrival of the child in the family “incarnates” the union between husband and wife in the flesh. Such a joyful event, however, does not always brings harmony in marriage; John Paul ii, in his Letter to the Families, writes that, the egocentricity of the love to the child can take over at the expense of the marital harmony. Often, this process takes a subtle and subconscious dynamics of what Family Systems School calls “triangulization”. Such too close alliance with the child, as described eloquently by Jean Vanier, damages the parent’s potential to remain the educator of his child rather than a ‘friend’ of equal status. When the tension between the spouses arises, the best way of ‘triangling’, therefore, is to Jesus Christ. In prayer, a mature resolution of marital tension makes the spouses love each other more and remain both, gentle and firm in educating their offspring.

Key words: Marital love; child as fulfillment; educating, liberating and caring dimensions of parental love; Family Systems; anxiety; relational tension; triangling; Humanae Vitae; generosity.